Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
