is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
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Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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