well I can't set my house on fire every night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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