I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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