I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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