Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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