elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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