Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
