I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize