Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
