new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
