i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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