the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
