I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
