When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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