I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
