I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I had to cum in my sink.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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