It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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