What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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