Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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