So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
