Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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