I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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