u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
