Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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