I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
