Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
