I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
