some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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