so let's talk penis.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
