you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
40s are totally the cure
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
