did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize