Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
