Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
