we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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