i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
