look no pants
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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