dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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