I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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