Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
