i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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