I heard we made out
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
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today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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