i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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