i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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