yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
