So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize