No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize