So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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