just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
