protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
