She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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