miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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