We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize