I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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