I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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