she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
