I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I skipped work to stalk him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
