dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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