Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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