Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I can text with my tongue
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
